In this episode, we explore what to do when people don't reply to your messages on platforms like Instagram, Tinder, or through cold emails. Burhaan Pattel shares three main strategies that will make it easier for you to overcome your insecurity and fear of rejection.
In 2014 after reading Tim Ferris’s book “The Four Hour Work Week” he set a 100 day goal to be self sufficient and to leave his home country and start traveling the world. He since lives in Bangkok running a 6 figure marketing consultancy working with clients in Singapore, Hong Kong, United Kingdom and the United States and other areas in the world.
Show Notes:
So what do you do when people don't reply to you? We've all been there. We've all sent the message to the pretty girl on Instagram or to the handsome guy on Instagram or we've sent a message for our business, a cold email. We've sent maybe a DM for our business or we're on Tinder. We match with the person.
We say, hi, we say something funny. We say something curious. We say something interesting. We ask a question and the person just does not get back to us. And it's like, why, why match with the person in the first place and then not reply? Or maybe you've sent that DM, the person said hi back, or the person responded to you with the answer of that question that you had.
And then they ghost you they don't talk to you after that. Why does that happen? And how do you actually solve it?
Well, here's a couple of strategies that I've used that I think will be useful. And I'm going to mention just three of them. Okay. So the first one is, well, just try again. So, you know, you send the first message after a day or two, you send the second message after a day or two, after that second message, you send the third message.
Now, usually it's like. They're busy. They're occupied. They've got life going on. They are not checking the platforms. Maybe they're traveling. Maybe they're sick. Maybe whatever the case may be.
Give them the benefit of the doubt. But three messages over a week, will give you enough of a break between those messages, but also be like, okay. What's, what's cooking. What I usually do on the third message is like, Hey, I noticed that you didn't see my message or you haven't responded.
If you're not interested, cool, no problem. It's all good. But if you are, then let's have a conversation. Let's meet, let's figure, figure this out. And so that third message is not just like, Hey, or the first message is not just, Hey, or the second message is not just some boring thing that you're saying.
That's not going to create engagement with the person, right? Messages are important. The content in those messages are important but you leave it open because you never know when somebody might might have seen your profile.
Maybe they opened your DM, they saw your profile. Maybe it wasn't the right timing. Maybe they were on the toilet. Maybe they were flying, maybe they're traveling, whatever was going on in their life at that point. But they just didn't have anything to say to you. They didn't have a response. They knew what you were looking for, obviously soliciting business maybe, and maybe they just weren't at the right, at that time, they just were not ready.
So you could do a follow up email, a follow up message or whatever after a month or whatever, if you really wanted to.
The second way is like, just don't worry about it. I know from a marketing point of view, if you're converting, let's say one, two, three percent, you're doing well.
Like three, four percent, five percent, six percent, seven, anything above four percent, you are printing money. Like you're basically, you are God level. You're in God mode.
Four out of a hundred, so that's 4%, that means maybe you have to send a hundred messages and only four people are going to get back to you.
on the low end, right? Now, DMs, direct messages, emails, they have higher response rates. So like email, maybe you're going to have 20%, 30%, 40%, 60 percent open rates, and then maybe a percent or two in terms of click. If you have a relationship with the person, obviously your open rates are going to be high.
Like how many messages have you sent your mom that she just hasn't responded to? , No, because she knows, likes and trusts you. Obviously she loves you. She's your mom. She's going to probably get back to you.
Now, depending on the depth of that relationship or the depth of, connection that you have with the person, that's going to affect that.
The third thing I would do is have a look at the group of people that you're targeting, the people that you are interested in or that you think might be interested in your product or your service. And maybe make a few changes because maybe the messages you're sending and the people you're sending them to is just not the right match.
Maybe what you do versus what they look, what you think they're looking for is not the right thing. Let me give you an example. So on Tinder, if you've paid for Tinder or you've got an account where you can adjust your filters, You can specify whether you want to meet girls obviously in a specific location with a college degree or a university degree or somebody who's got kids or doesn't have kids or there are different filters so that you can basically find your match, find the person who would jam with you.
You don't just open Tinder and just default the filters and then just swipe. You have to be strategic about who you're looking for because that's going to give you a higher rate of success. Now if you don't have any success or maybe your success is low, change the filters and you're going to change the type of people you see and you're going to change the matches you get and you're going to change the quality of the person that you're going to meet eventually for a date.
So from a marketing point of view, it's all about testing. It's about who's your audience, what type of messages are you sending, how frequently are you sending those messages to get a follow up. And then don't worry about it because 4%, 5%, 10%, 20 percent there's a percentage of people, majority of those people are not going to respond even if you match with them.
Even if you think that this girl will be the perfect person for you or this client will be the perfect client for you. It doesn't matter. Right. And so at the end of the day, it comes down to you being okay in your own skin, accepting that by them not talking to you, it's not a personal attack on you.
Okay. It's not that you're not good enough. It's not that you're not good looking enough. It's not that you don't have the right product. It's not that are an issue. There's external things going on in the world, timing, sickness, budget constraints. there are so many external factors that, that interrupt our day.
Just think about it as a human being. You're getting messages, you're getting DMs, you're getting emails. And you're not responding to every single one. So why do you expect the people you're talking to, the people you're trying to get business from, the people you're trying to date,
why are you expecting all of them to get back to you?
So yeah, if you're curious about this stuff, if you want to learn more, definitely subscribe to the channel. And if you want to learn how to actually get people on a call, get them interested, get them engaged in what you do, then go check out this video.
